Your passage to the gulag is paid for in L’eggs Body Beautiful Smoothers Shaping Hosiery!
These consumables are contraband, comrade.
February 2nd, 2009Cease your protests, the deal is done!
January 30th, 2009
You are to make a fine wife for uncouth American businessman!
Do not despair, Laika! Comrade Khrushchev honors you!
January 30th, 2009
Our love was but a dalliance!
Your ascent to the cosmos will strike terror into the West!
I swear I spoke no ill of The Party!
January 30th, 2009
Submit with honor, and you will earn a proper burial among your fathers!
Your floral offering serves as no deterrent to the inevitable, betrayer.
January 29th, 2009
You will now join me in oblivion.
Cease your rescue attempts!
January 29th, 2009
Harvest my connective tissues so that the Motherland may restock her glue reserves…
What beauty, not since during Glasnost has my heart soared so!
January 28th, 2009
I intend you to bear my children, this request you will not deny!
This shall provide the nourishment needed to brave the crowds awaiting their weekly beetroot ration.
January 28th, 2009
We sleep with vigor.
January 28th, 2009
Content with the knowledge that Lenin’s body shall never decay…
Mother, if my constitution is unfit for gymnast…
January 28th, 2009
The grist mill shall become my pommel horse and daily labor my reward!