Cease your rescue attempts!

8

Harvest my connective tissues so that the Motherland may restock her glue reserves…

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Eunice moderator
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*applause for Hubabogoba*

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Hubabogoba moderator
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Mikhalych moderator
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Thanks Throbert, the wrench makes a lot more sense than the "key to number 32" and is funnier than the English caption! Mind you, the horse's expression works for either caption...

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anon moderator
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It makes a lot of sense, humor-wise, that a horse would pop out of a manhole to ask the other workers for an additional tool (the size-32 wrench) before popping down below again. I don't know a thing about Russian humor, but that's funny!

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Throbert McGee moderator
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Christina, I'm guessing that you're a beginning student of Russian. Why don't you try typing the phrase "ключ на 32" into Google Image search and seeing what kind of pictures it returns? To spare you the suspense: You'll get pictures of wrenches/spanners. And how does one specify wrench sizes in Russian? With the preposition "на" followed by the appropriate number of millimeters.

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Christina moderator
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""Although “ключ” often translates as “key,” as in the small thing you unlock a door with, it can also mean “wrench” (or in UK English, a “spanner”), as in the large tool used by plumbers.So the caption actually says:“Mikhalych, hand me the size-32 wrench!”""WRONG! You are overlooking the use of the preposition 'HA' 32, FOR 32, key FOR 32. Your translation omits the word 'HA'.

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Norm moderator
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How about, "The radiation levels are still high, comrade. I recommend you leave the flower and give your mother a framed picture of Beria, instead."

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Throbert McGee moderator
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@Anton Howes:Although "ключ" often translates as "key," as in the small thing you unlock a door with, it can also mean "wrench" (or in UK English, a "spanner"), as in the large tool used by plumbers.So the caption actually says:"Mikhalych, hand me the size-32 wrench!"

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Savvy moderator
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Not to be the obnoxious person who's in a russian class (because while I am, it's only first-year so I don't really know anything), but one random cultural thing my professor mentioned is the MASSIVE difference between russian and american humor. I mean, all cultures have variations but there's a very large one with the russians and us, so no wonder everyone's so confused here as to whether these translations/originals are actually funny...

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Snowball's chance moderator
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I WILL WORK HARDER! FOUR LEGS GOOD TWO LEGS BAD!

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Bwahahaa! moderator
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It certainly is funny! Come on, I don't want to make a horse into glue any more than the next guy, but a lot of comedic value comes from stereotypes. Lighten up. As for literal translations, sure, they'd be nice, but it'd be a totally different kind of funny, I'm sure. Just like other countries make fun of Americans for our idiosyncracies, we do the same of them. It's not because we want them to feel bad, it's just (oh my God, dare I say it??) fun.

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RUSSIAxUSA moderator
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Uhm...guys...couldn't you at least turn around while I take a crap?

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Nyoxis moderator
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trinity67 Says: February 19, 2009 at 9:13 amThis one is not funny. Horses falling into holes is not funny and saying you’ll make glue out of a horse is also not funny.-Nay we mean no offence, we're just horsing around.

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trinity67 moderator
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This one is not funny. Horses falling into holes is not funny and saying you'll make glue out of a horse is also not funny.

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JOhn Davis moderator
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Whoopsie! LOLRT www.anonymity.eu.tc

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blue moderator
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In russia horse eats you!

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Groucho Smirnov moderator
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\"Countries can still have a sense of humor even if they’re sensitive about their history"Yes, you can. The technical term is a "bad" sense of humor.

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Slarf moderator
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Congrats Magyar!?!? Now for the hard part; can you teach a sense of humor to some of these flatliners?

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Magyar moderator
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Okay, I understand Fluent now. I don't _think_ he's antisemitic. Joanne said "Anybody with a genetic ability to see irony ended up in the Gulag and so the trait died out." Fluent took this seriously, and replied as translated above. I believe he meant: "Do you think all Jews with a sense of humor were killed in concentration camps [because they don't like jokes about the holocaust]? Countries can still have a sense of humor even if they're sensitive about their history."Of course, the fact I understand that means that I apparently speak Comment fluently- a dubious accomplishment.

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Tiffany moderator
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"Should have made the left turn at Albuquerque!"

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mzmadmike moderator
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Laughs at Harold, the ugly American.Don't worry. We attractive Americans will hide your shame.

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Harold moderator
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We, ugly Americans, sure do love to laugh - so long as its @ others' expense. Someone hx0rz this site already. Lame.

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Monty moderator
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ROFL @ Fluent Hater!

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Fluent Hater moderator
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Fluent hates jews WTF he is a sick one he is.

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Magyar moderator
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"Wow Joanne, it is [a] privelege to watch your mind work! Tell me, do you think the same is true for the Jews who did not end up in Nazi concentration camps, or do you still admit to [a] sense of humor in that nation[notion?] even if it won’t let you make fun of their history?" Translation of Fluents' comment. Which I don't understand

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Neptune moderator
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What the hell. I have more of a chance of actually learning to read Russian before Fluents comment.

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Anton Howes moderator
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Translation is: "Mikhailich! Give me the key to number 32"

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nat moderator
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So, what's wrong with Gordski wanting the original translations? Of course the English captions are jokes - so, surely, are the Russian ones. It would be interesting to see them.

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Fluent moderator
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Ww Jnn, t s prvlg t wtch yr mnd wrk! Tll m, d y thnk th sm s tr fr th Jws wh dd nt nd p n Nz cncntrtn cmps, r d y stll dmt t sns f hmr n tht ntn vn f t wn't lt y mk fn f thr hstry?

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joanne mullen moderator
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Gordski's comment sums up why this site is funny. I live with a Russian girl and she has no sense of humour whatsoever. Anybody with a genetic ability to see irony ended up in the Gulag and so the trait died out.

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Peter Seebach moderator
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I would love to know the origin of this picture -- I saw it once years back and I've been trying to find the original (uncaptioned) ever since.

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Sara Leigh moderator
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I know, how can you not know this is a joke? Even my Russian speaking friends find this hilarious :)

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d moderator
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In case you guys didn't get it, it's a joke.

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Gordski moderator
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Great site but needs to have accurate translations done. Might be a valuable resource for learning some Russian. The photo captions are probably pretty funny in their own right. It doesn't take much to amuse Am3rikans.Please, please, please translate.

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Michael K moderator
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It's rarely known that "32" in Russian literally translates to "so the Motherland may restock"!

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