Яolcats

"What beauty, not since during Glasnost has my heart soared so! I intend you to bear my children, this request you will not deny!"
i think this is sweet

What whiskers, there are no whiskers here! He is whispering in his 'ycbi' his ear. And isn't kobasa sausage?

Lacking gloves with which to smack,
I'll hiss and call your whiskers "gay"
Because you stole, and won't give back,
My B-O-L-O-G-N-A!

Reagancat says: "Mr. Furbachev, tear down this wall!"

I assume that the "gloves" is a reference to the custom of 18th-century French aristos smacking each other's faces with empty gloves over points of honor?

You didn't shave at all today, did you?

No no, I'm addressing the ugly Americans...see the commas?

The joke begins in Russian in the picture, then continues in English as a caption. It's not a translation at all.

Laughs at Harold, the ugly American.

Don't worry. We attractive Americans will hide your shame.

We, ugly Americans, sure do love to laugh - so long as its @ others' expense. Someone hx0rz this site already. Lame.

I'm amazed at the people don't get it and are actually thinking these are real translations. Let me diagram the joke.

1. Lolcats are cutesy and uber annoying in any language.
2. Instead of writing something annoying, trite and cute like the original photos, the person wrote fake propaganda-like captions which have an opposite tone and intent as a lolcat.

Incongruity, mockery . . . oh, forget it. If you don't get the humor then please go back and find more lolcats on the internet. You can read them for hours and send them to granny.

Wow, cultural differences galore! But that's the sign of the times, fake's the thing!

If that's the real translation, I think I'll take the fake one.

Wow, the real translation is... um...

Bologna?

Sadly, none of these translations are at all correct. This one says:
Since I don't have any gloves
I will hiss in your whiskers
Because yesterday very meanly
You stole my piece of bologna